I’ve been in hospital 3 times as a direct result of continued heavy alcohol consumption.
I was warned by doctors that if I carried on drinking, I would be dead before my 40th birthday.
At the time, I saw no reason to live or any real way out of the cycle I was in, so I blocked this unwanted news out by continuing to drink.
I used to drink 2 litres of Vodka a day (if my body would let me). I’d buy 1 litre on the way to work and 1 on the way back. I’d do my best to drink 1 bottle while at work mixed into a big lucozade bottle placed on my desk in full view, in front of about 15 – 20 students. As I’m a teacher.
In the week leading up to my 3rd hospital admission, all I wanted to do was make this life stop. I wanted to commit suicide, but luckily for me my body packed in first. I knew I couldn’t continue functioning any more and I knew I couldn’t change the predicament I was in by myself. That’s where New Note comes in…
For me New Note has rekindled my self esteem, which in turn has developed my confidence. The confidence to play and create music. The confidence to be curious and express ideas. The confidence to simply socialise. The confidence to be in my own skin. Be myself.
Addiction beat me up and left me isolated and alone. From the inside of addiction looking out it feels like I had no choice, no chance and no control.
From the outside looking in at someone in addiction it can look like their choice, they’ve had loads of chances and it is very much in their hands to take control and sort out their lives. The best way to help someone in recovery is to encourage that person to help themselves.
New Note stopped me isolating by giving me the motivation to get out the house. And in turn it’s increased my health by reducing my social anxiety, depression, loneliness, the feeling of being a failure and feeling unwanted on the unspoken edge societal and family life.
It’s encourage’s personal growth by meeting new people, helping each other and in the process making new friends and networks with similar people, in a similar situation with similar goals. The benefit of this is infinite on my general vibrance and self esteem.
At moments when I was at my lowest and most in need of help, I had to somehow find my desire, nurture my confidence and reconnect with life. New Note Orchestra does all that and so much more.